re•sil•ient

resilient: (of a substance or object) able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching or being compressed.

Bending stretching or being compressed. Whew! If those aren't action words for what HIV does and makes you do I don't know what is. It's the meaty part of the definition I'm focused on though. That's what matters. Where it says "to be able to recoil or spring back into shape". I'm a little older so my spring is more like a bounce, but it still works! My bounce back game is strong!

I love the word resilient. It's always implied strength and flexibility even before my diagnosis. It's a triumph trigger word for me. Most times we think of trigger words as a negative thing that brings trauma into focus, but I like balance in all aspects of my life. For trauma triggers you need a counterbalance of joy triggers to bring you back to center. Resilience and all the things you do to create that feeling are that balance.

Resiliencies are those things that help you spring back after disappointment or heartache. That which allows you to reshape after being faced with stigma or rejection. Your joy buttons or your peace places to put it differently. They can be the things, no matter how small, that make you happy. For me it's physical things like roller skating and sitting in the sun and water that recharge my spirit. Mentally it may be writing my concerns and fears out, or figuring out the underlying problem and emotion and then using that insight to change what I can. The best resiliency tool I have is laughter. Laughter is joy and joy is hope. Hope is sustaining. Laugh, lady laugh. Even if you think you are laughing to keep from crying, your brain and emotional pathways are remembering that there is still joy in life.

Find your resiliencies. Indulge in them often. Daily. Bend don't break. Stretch but don't become brittle. Compress, but don't let it flatten your spirit. You are strong, beautiful and re•sil•ient.