#TheWellProject. Where it all came alive to me. Life. Dreams. U = U...
Angel S.'s blog
I can not change what I am not willing to face. Be authentic. Realizing that to be authentic one's secrets must be faced - head on. Secrets are an example of WHAT IS LACKING IN YOUR LIFE AND IN YOU. They show their heads in the shadows, frost covered reality. As Bruce Springsteen said, "Is that you baby or just a brilliant disguise?" To acknowledge ourselves for what we really are and not for what we allow others to see or believe helps to move one from self destructive behaviors (no longer useful to the purpose) into a walk down the road of honesty. Honesty is the only way to come face to...
I often relate the taking of a pill daily to reliving the trauma of, say, a horrific event, being in court telling your story of the rape, killing someone while drinking and driving, losing a child... At that moment every day that I take my pill, I am reminded I have survived another day with HIV. I am constantly reminded I have HIV. I CAN NEVER FORGET UNLESS I STOP TAKING MY MEDS WHICH WILL LEAD ME TO A QUICKER DEATH. Other than that thought, life is good. I use wine and weed to get through. Heehee, to each their own. We are reminded daily HIV is in us now we must stand head high, embrace our...
Children are clay in the trusted hands of a human creator, loaned to us for a small moment in this space we consume. (Let’s understand first, I will not be striving for political correctness.)
I don't even want to do this. I'm so selfish which makes understanding me difficult. I am also selfless to a fault. I draw lines. So enough about me. I wrote a blog a while back. Since I was nineteen you been giving us PLHIV shit about having HIV. Well I had a baby at seventeen. I was married at 22. I buried my first boyfriend to AIDS at 23. I buried my son and my marriage at 24. I walked away from motherhood. I hid behind my love to volunteer until 2006 when I started ARV treatment. Going to the clinic was all people needed to finally pin me down. I was stalked, chased, hit, humiliated. I...
I wonder. Then I just imagine. Refreshing. Shouting out what takes space in the mind or heart. I am much more special than you could imagine. My journeys, adventures, memories are mine. I am on my way to have a sleepover with Sissy. I love our time together. Be watchful of stagnant or squandered moments. Every minute of the day should consist of giving your best. From my experience; you get what you give. When I was a child (I'm singing Pink Floyd), I loved my community, an American girl who dreamed of what I could do to give others opportunities. We did a lot of fun adventures. I noticed some...
I have been undetectable of the illness since 2006; except for the stigma and unkind people that leave evident scars on my mental health.
Distance brought upon by ignorance and privilege. I read, I research and yet I find myself surrounded by those I trust. I still cannot get past how much worry and fear entangle in the everyday life of those closest to me.
I realized as I saw my computer screen with my grandkids, I never saw any kid grow up. Not my child, not my family’s children. I guess having the experience of being a mom I felt as if I should have had the courage to nurture, to raise a child. I put too much on my own shoulders so I can never be satisfied with the outcome. I am more of a perfectionist than I knew.