I realized as I saw my computer screen with my grandkids, I never saw any kid grow up. Not my child, not my family’s children. I guess having the experience of being a mom I felt as if I should have had the courage to nurture, to raise a child. I put too much on my own shoulders so I can never be satisfied with the outcome. I am more of a perfectionist than I knew.
Angel S.'s blog
A breath of fresh air. "Live in Your Truth". First time I heard that said was Speak Up 2018. Inspired by a young lady, Wanona, who also blogs for A Girl Like Me. My first time as a co-presenter for A Girl Like Me. Thank you so much Krista and The Well Project. I hear those words echo. I try to find the meaning. Circling round and round. The stairs grow weak and the train moves on. My sins are mine. Time cannot be replaced … with a million, "I'm Sorrys"; you escape again. Looking for that meaning. "Live in Your Truth." Well to my amazement, right in those words are: hope, joy, birth, freedom...
My first meeting of any type to meet a candidate. I was able to ask Aaron Ford about his knowledge on the current HIV laws here in Nevada. He said he didn't know anything. I think this is an important opportunity to get the U=U message over to his office. I told him how current laws hurt people who know their status and get in care, and take their meds. #SciencenotStigma (thank you #preventionaccesscampaign )! Anyway, he said he is interested in being educated. I know he wants to be voted in as General Attorney of Nevada. The person holding this type of office needs to be educated if "we" are...
I wanted to write about something beautiful, so I will start with me. In my life I struggle with things within; yet I have a fascinating full life. I have friends, family, coworkers and strangers who see the natural beauty I possess inside even when I am far from seeing anything that resembles light. I talked with my sister this morning; I love that girl to the moon and back. My sister and I have a relationship people dream of. It's real, it's wholesome and it's angry, full of love and support. I couldn't ask for a better friend ever. My mom has become that woman again who as a child I leaned...
So today I was reading blogs and looking at Facebook. I was troubled to see how many times people tell me I can hit them up if I need someone to talk to. My problem with this is when people try to control you for so long, asking for some to help is not as easy as it seems. The trust involved and vulnerability you must submit to is scary as hell. I am changing my perspective on how I see things; if I only think of the outcome as how it played out I am not giving myself the opportunities to find another way to a better outcome or solution. So I am sitting here in my new place with a roommate - a...
The current conditions create a safe place to get to know what makes me tick, happy, passionate... I have told more of my close friends on a one on one face to face talk that I live with HIV. I am owning my truth and I hope they will stay in my life. The reactions will not hinder my commitment to educating everyone I can and, most importantly, ME. However I must not play into the role of puppet or stigmatizer. I am seriously answering my own tough questions. What keeps me from seeing the potential I hold? Am I not the same, if not a stronger woman? For me, allowing others to place labels on me...
I hesitate to write, numb and joy are my feelings. The day started with fresh air, coffee and a walk at 630am. Since, I have had three completely different conversations where we discussed Long term survivor's day and how thinking back affects our personal being at this moment. For me, I see faces of loved ones taken way too soon, yet I am blanketed with love and courage being in this space at #HINAC3. My friends have different experiences then I. On many levels our stories are different, still our condition intersects us. We are thriving! Numb with joy and sad with sorrow. I want to express...
My year has been full of changes. I am willing to learn from mistakes; rebuilding can be fun. Today I awake to my granddaughter (12) and my mom. Mom cooks the best; we are having hash omelettes. Yum. I had a day yesterday. I was stressing over forgetting to properly prepare for this trip and I was not sure when my meds would arrive or if I could even get a refill without labs and seeing the clinic. I just read a blog from Mask S. King and it reminded me to be grateful to be alive no matter what challenges I may be experiencing. I have been through so much as have so many others. I am not...
Hello, it's been a minute since I wrote a blog. I am reminded of Long Term Survivors Day as it approaches. I was diagnosed in 1997. I suspected until yesterday I was given this condition through a sex partner as a teenager. My first boyfriend died of AIDS-related complications in 1994, he received several blood transfusions as a kid. Yesterday while in my hometown, I saw a stranger who remembered me as a person she knew through common friends, one of which was my husband. I learned today he was sleeping with men while sleeping with me. I love surprises... not. I always wondered how a man who...