The Big Decision

Since I moved to India after my diagnosis in October 2010, I had my third set of tests. In the last ten months my cd4 count has dropped from 880 to 540. For the first time my tests reflected a detectable viral load and seeing that my heart sank. In my months of reading about HIV, I found out that for many people the CD4 count drops gradually over a period of years, but unfortunately that does not seem to be the case for me. However, I have not been ill so far and my appetite seems to be fine. In fact, I have gained a few pounds in the last few months. I was confused. My numbers seem to be declining rapidly. My body felt fine, but the results didn't look so great!!

However, this time I brought up the most important topic with my doctor- Am I ready to have a baby? A few months ago I was confused, but thanks to all the words of encouragement I had seen in the earlier posts I had made up my mind about what I wanted. To my relief, my doctor did not discourage me at all. He said if I was ready to start my meds then I can go ahead and plan my baby. Straight from the doctor, I rushed to the fertility clinic. My husband was right next to me. After hours of waiting without an appointment, I met the gynecologist. I explained my situation to her, and also that I cannot conceive through my husband and have to go through insemination through a sperm donor. She said that I need to first finish my prescribed hepatitis b vaccination and then come back to her, meanwhile she will need to put together the disposable instruments she will require in my case.

While I am so happy and looking forward to my next visit, I am also hoping and praying that everything goes well and that the facilities in my country are well equipped to help me through this big decision that I have taken. Last week, my husband and me completed 4 years of our marriage. Praying in my heart for God to grant us this precious gift of parenthood for our next anniversary.

Regards,

Sonia