Why is HIV/AIDS considered one of the most dreaded infections that exist? Not only other people fear us, but we begin fearing ourselves-- What if we spread this disease to somebody else? We would probably never forgive ourselves. Is the virus so powerful that we cannot defeat it? I don't think so. We can defeat it. What are the things I cannot do - I can't have unprotected sex, I can't share my blood, I can't live in certain countries, I can't breastfeed... there may be a list- big deal, but bigger than any of these is the fact that I CAN have a baby that is HIV negative. My 4 month old...
soniaroy79's blog
Life has been such a paradox. A few years ago I woke up to a nightmare when I found out I was positive. However this nightmare made me more determined than ever to make my dream come true. My dream has come true. On the 7th of August I gave birth to a girl just like me :-). Looking at her face I forgot everything that could make me unhappy. When she started to smile it bought tears to my eyes. She is the light of my life. I have waited for this day forever. When I found out that I was positive, I made every effort to keep myself good so that I could become pregnant. During my pregnancy I did...
Today I step into my third and final semester of pregnancy. Each time my baby kicks me it brings me immense joy and closer to understanding what it meant when all you sisters mentioned the joy and lease of life that you got when you saw your children. I am so looking forward to motherhood. My medicines began with my second trimester. Health has been a little unpredictable - initially I use to throw up a lot, my appetite decreased and on and off there were fevers, severe headaches, weight loss and other ailments. Most people who didn't know the truth would say "You are having a difficult...
One year ago I thought that HIV had defeated me ... I desperately wanted a baby of my own and decided to go ahead with insemination by an anonymous donor. It was my second attempt with the IUI...and instead of a positive pregnancy I was hit with a positive HIV result. Even before I realized what consequences this would have on my life , the first shattering thought I had was that my dream of becoming a mother had come to an end. Thanks to several helpful resources and the undying encouragement of AGLM sisters...bit by bit I mustered the courage to dream again. The last one year I have...
I would have never imagined the 1st of Dec would mean anything more to me than a cousin's birthday, for which I would put a reminder on my phone and wish her when the time came. But today it means much more. Although my CD4 counts are dwindling, each time I go back to my doctor I have a glow on my face, I have put on a couple of healthy pounds and and smiling brighter than I did the last time I visited him. The last one year has been a journey of self awareness and respect for myself and many other women. When I found out I was positive, like anybody else, my world came crashing down on me...I...
Since I moved to India after my diagnosis in October 2010, I had my third set of tests. In the last ten months my cd4 count has dropped from 880 to 540. For the first time my tests reflected a detectable viral load and seeing that my heart sank. In my months of reading about HIV, I found out that for many people the CD4 count drops gradually over a period of years, but unfortunately that does not seem to be the case for me. However, I have not been ill so far and my appetite seems to be fine. In fact, I have gained a few pounds in the last few months. I was confused. My numbers seem to be...
Hello, It's been a mad 3 months. Moved to a new city, new job and life has been a roller coaster. Meeting new friends, and some old ones too. In a busy life while I am trying to be like everybody else, out of the blue sometimes a cruel voice whispers to me that I am different. I wince...then i smile. Yes I am different...I am stronger! I had my tests done last week. when the results came, my CD4 count had dropped by nearly 250 in only 4 months. I was so low the entire day, till my husband after a few hours of researching on the internet found out that a drop in CD4 count is not considered as...
I have not been able to write in some time as right now my life is in a state of flux. Four years ago my career was at it’s peak. I was a senior television producer for over 7 years with one of the leading channels of the country. Work kept me on my toes 24/7. Then I met the man who I decided to marry, and I willingly gave up all those years to move on to the next level…to start my own family, and to fulfill the one dream I had been nurturing for years. I moved to a new country with my husband and took up a lighter job at a school, which allowed me to side by side do all the things I had not...
It’s been 2 months since my diagnosis and I am so confused. I got infected early 2010. I have not begun taking any medicines. My doctor has recommended some immunity shots and some vitamins before my next meeting with him. Since this is something I have not been able to talk about to the people around me, all I have done in the last few weeks is a lot of research on the internet. I am not sure if that has brought me relief or made me feel more afraid of what lies ahead. Maybe, a little bit of both. Scared because it is a painful reality that is going to be a part of me forever and ever. Relief...
My (chosen) name is Sonia. I am 31 years old and discovered I am HIV+ less than a month ago. Still feels like a bad dream and I have been waiting for somebody to wake me up, but doesn't seem to happen. I bumped into this website while searching on the internet for "Life after finding out you are HIV". I am from India, and being a third world nation struggling for a place in the modern world, people are still are not 'modern' enough to accept HIV as a reality that can be a part of anybody's life, whether it's their fault or not. In fact my doctor, who is well aware of the social pressures of...