Once again my blog will be about something that happened in my Facebook. I have the name there 'MariaHIV'. I created that name not because I am HIV, but because I wanted to attract people to it..so by now I have met wonderful people from every continent! Awesome advocates, activists, people that are recently diagnosed and long term survivors like myself..and everything in the middle :) many people that are suicidal and feel like their life is over, some very secretive because they are in the stage of denial...people that don't know what to do because in their country they have no medication...
MariaHIVMejia's blog
Love, how beautiful it is! This is so important for people living with HIV/AIDS...to have someone who loves you for you and can see past the illness, that is if they are negative..I am very blessed that after all these years of being positive and thinking way back ( I WILL NEVER MARRY), I have been blessed with such a loving and caring partner. :) She is a key element in my health, believe it or not! When you are loved and cared for..your heart and soul fills up inside. You are happier and feel complete, all these things make your immune system go up..and it is not only the love of your...
Well, well, well. Where the hell do I start??? I am going to try to be as nice and sweet as possible! I had to give myself a day to write this. It started as another thing I posted on my facebook HIV space, I posted an ugly, disgusting picture of a scorpion wrapped around a man and it is about to sting him and kill him! And I wrote how I really feel about this horrible, nasty campaign! I mean, what the hell?? Is this how we want people to view us?? Like a lethal scorpion? I don't think so..I am a beautiful, good, loving, caring human being...I take care of my beautiful partner and protect her...
So yeah! I was looking forward to a nice relaxing day! Away from everything...just a place where they could pamper me...release some stress. YES! The beauty salon...yay...getting my hair done, my hands and feet done. Just time for little old me to get away from daily life...and of course, my job or mission never has a break. I was laughing with the owner (my hairdresser) and other clients that were there (hearing their problems, yeah, a little gossip Tee hee...that btw I love), listening to music and feeling good about myself and the outcome of my beauty regimen...and then BAM! Here comes a...
Here we go again! Yes, that is what I always say to myself. Every 4 to 6 months I go through this s**t !! After so long, I should be used to this, but I am not! I have so much fear and anxiety like 1 week, or even longer, before I go to see my doctor for the results...I am a very positive person, but I am human and I have my fears! Especially when I see people around me telling me their T-cells went down and their viral load is up...And my worst fear, they have become resistant to the medication that they are used to already! I mean give me, them, all of us, a break! And then again, who am I...
I am ready to show my face for many reasons! After the cycles that we go through with HIV/AIDS...the denial, realizing I was not dying after all...came the shame and hiding. I also started with the lies...that I believe came from my mother trying to protect me, saying tell everyone I have something else (another illness like lupus etc etc)! Well after so much hiding, lying, the SHAME! Something really deep happened before 2011 came. My partner's sister passed away from cancer and this was so terrible :( . I thought to myself, and asked myself, WHY can't I say I have HIV?? Why is it that anyone...
It started as a simple status on my facebook page where I just put "FOR ME IT'S VERY HARD!!! TO TAKE HIV MEDS...IT'S NOT SIMPLE! IT'S NOT EASY...THEY DO SAVE OUR LIVES BUT HAVE VERY HARSH SIDE EFFECTS!) Well before I knew it, I had a scientist (a good friend), a doctor, a person that said he tested HIV positive and was showing me videos of all these other doctors and scientists that say HIV does not cause AIDS, and that the medication is killing us. I also had a very nice lady from the UK that is also positive along with her husband and also takes her meds. Well this is my opinion and only...
Well, where do I start!? I guess pain...physical and mental....one of the situations that we face with HIV/AIDS is pain...from neuropathy..aging, etc., etc...I myself was on pain medication! Exactly, Oxycodone..well, 8 years ago when one of the doctors I saw prescribed it to me...he never told me how addicitve it was!!! I wish I knew then what I know now!! I have suffered sometimes more with this little pill than with the HIV/AIDS virus...that, by the way, I started with half a pill (5 mgs) and ended up with maybe taking 80 mgs a day! This is over an 8 year period as I said! You see, this pill...
Yes, many may think there is nothing positive in being positive...but as I have always been taught, and believe, even from something bad or tragic, we can find something good, something to learn from and something that makes us stronger. I am not going to sit here and write that i don't cry sometimes and feel hopeless. I just went through it this week when I got back from my vacation to Disney. I learned that a very close friend and founder of Red Hispana, an organization here in south Florida, had passed. :( Every time this happens, it really shakes me. I know that we are all going to die...
I was just turning 18 when I found out I was HIV positive...I was very young. Back in those days, this was a death sentence. It was around the same time Magic Johnson came out saying he was positive. I was studying in a program in Kentucky named Job corp and they did HIV testings to all the students that came in new. I remember before all of us kids were getting tested I was answering all the questions correct about HIV (how ironic)..to me, this was a disease for prostitutes, drug users or homosexuals so I never thought I would ever be positive. A month passed and I kept on getting slips from...