HIV diagnosis

At 48 I look back at my life and it's clear that the only reason I'm standing here with my Beeb and NuNu is because Jesus literally has saved me.

I write because I love writing, and I have loved it since I was seven. I am honest about my life, some say too honest.

Stigma is a killer, sure, but silence is the weapon it uses.

A definition does not allow room for growth. Life with HIV is not definitive; it is change. It is growth.

It's far more difficult to live with people's perceptions of HIV than with the reality.

For as long as I can remember, I thought survival and worth were the same damn thing. If I was needed, I mattered. If I was wanted, I was safe.

My life has not been in vain. My pain became a path. My voice became a shelter. My existence has allowed others to exist with less fear.

Mi vida no ha sido en vano. Mi dolor se transformó en camino. Mi voz se convirtió en refugio. Mi resistencia creó un legado que sigue salvando vidas hoy.

Through the hospital visits, the medication changes, the frustrations, the prayers, the tears — I am still here. I am smiling as I write this blog post.

I do not associate with victimhood. Yet, in these moments, the victimization of a careless Congress and presidential administration may leave me vulnerable with an inability to pay for medical care and manage my disease.