finding balance

When I was about 4 or 5 years old, some nights I used to be awakened by a mysterious swaying of the curtains in my room. Immediately, I would start seeing shapes that scared me a lot: deformed faces, threatening animals.

When I was diagnosed with HIV almost 17 years ago I dove head first into activism. I was angry and I needed something to do with that anger or I would have turned it onto myself. What I didn't realize is that I had already done that and what I did not know is that I would let that anger build for almost two decades before I accepted it.

Cuando tenía unos 4 o 5 años de edad, algunas noches solía despertarme un misterioso vaivén de las cortinas de mi habitación. De inmediato empezaba a ver formas que me producían mucho miedo: rostros deformes, animales amenazantes.

I've learned a sex conversation before sexual intimacy is so much more than my HIV status. If a man isn't open to STD testing and condoms in the initial phase of dating, they are in denial about sexual intimacy responsibility and not boyfriend material.

I found it incredibly therapeutic to hear and relate to the women who have posted before me here, and have found a lot of healing from putting my thoughts in writing. My hope is to help the next woman not feel so alone.

My name is Johana Quesada and I am a stay at home mom, HIV activist, artist and breathwork facilitator based in Dallas, Texas.

I just heard a new word today that struck my heart in a sickening way: "Gendercide", "the deliberate effort to destroy traditions of gender fluidity…". That was a quote from an extremely insightful book...

As part of a collaboration with our longtime partner organization Christie's Place, The Well Project will be sharing stories from their book "Healing Hope: A woven tapestry of strength and solace" as...

El primer relato es la historia de los eventos que me provocaron traumas antes de mi diagnóstico. Comienza en el ambiente en el que nací y cómo este generó las oportunidades para que me ocurrieran experiencias traumáticas a temprana edad.

So, let me be honest. It's the new year right? And everyone is screaming "new opportunities, and growth". But as for me, I'm still at the stop sign. Sometimes I'm reversing but I'm not progressing.