So after coming home from the empowering PWN-USA and the Positive Living programs, I was feeling so empowered and then life happened. My son is 13 and has had behavioral problems since I adopted him when he was 5. However now he is older and for the last 2 years the police have been called many times. He has a deputy juvenile officer and he does receive weekly counseling. But the day after I came home there were some legal issues. He ended up in juvenile detention and the decision was made to place him in a 30-day behavioral treatment program. I just don't know what else to do with him. We have had all types of at home services that he has refused to participate in so this was the next step.
He has been there 12 days and is making no effort to improve his behavior. He is being sneaky and underhanded and everything is someone else's fault. I have not let him come home on the weekends but I do go to see him and am proud of myself that I have been able to be non-confrontational and even-tempered. And firm about the fact that he is not coming home for weekend visits unless I see change in his behavior. Unfortunately I do not see him changing and that scares me because what is going to happen when he is 18 and gets in trouble?
The only thing that is keeping me sane right now is Narcotics Anonymous. I go and listen to how to apply the steps to this situation, and I have worked on the first 4 steps regarding our relationship. He has a lot of anger left over regarding my drug use. He is the only one that can forgive me and that is totally on his timetable.
I worry about my health, as this is very stressful for me. I don't get my labs drawn until October 18. I have lost 15 lbs. and am on Megace and steroids. One good thing I have done for myself is joined a gym and so far have been going regularly. I am trying to eat even though I am not hungry because I know I need to.
I did call St. Louis Effort for AIDS to see about getting involved in their organization but haven't heard from them yet. I still know we need to Speak Out and I want to. Other things are just draining me right now. Keep me in your prayers.
