My chosen name is Kat and I am from Maryland. I am 30 years old and the mother of 2 adorable boys 5 and 8, and I am HIV Positive. Wow, that's the first time I actually said it since I was diagnosed in March of 2010. I went to a regular prenatal visit, my then husband and I were expecting our 3rd child, and learned that I was having twins. I was so excited and when they asked about HIV screening, of course I said yes - I mean who says no? A week later, I was having a miscarriage and lost one baby, and the doctor wanted to see me. He told me he didn't want me upset but we had to talk. I thought he meant counseling about the baby, and I was focused on not losing the other one so I blacked him out. About a month later, after I lost the other baby, someone from the health department called me at work wanting to talk. I thought the doctor was trying to force me into counseling, so I gave them the run around, until they finally came to my job to meet with me. That's when they told me. I was shocked, COMPLTELY, and the first thing I thought was, I am going to leave my kids without a mother. The second thought was – that SOB cheated on me. I never really thought about my well being, just threw all of me into the kids. I have since gotten a divorce with full custody, and have only disclosed my status with my immediate family, not even with my ex husband. (I gave his information to the health department for them to handle contacting him).
Why Kat wants to be a part of A Girl Like Me: I know I should go to counseling, but my fear of people seeing or knowing is getting the best of me. Hopefully one day soon, I can be strong enough to deal with it the right way. But for now, I think this blog will help a lot. I know now that there are girls like me, not so much as ashamed, but afraid. Afraid of ostracism and ridicule and pure ignorance. I am hoping to not only help someone find a voice, but put one in mine, so that I can be heard.
