It's been awhile since I've put my words together for you to read! Covid has really put a damper on things and stripped me of my desire to do anything.
Marig2016's blog
Often times, and no disrespect to anyone who has said it, but... not being tied to anything isn't all it's cracked up to be. Let me explain...
Growing up in Paterson New Jersey where the population is predominantly Black, it was inevitable that I would share space with an individual who identified as black. However here there was never a question of separation. Black, Hispanic or white it didn't matter; we were all in the struggle together.
Losing a loved one is never easy, but losing a loved one during this covid pandemic is not something I ever thought I'd have to go through. Much like my HIV diagnosis, I didn't think it could happen to me.
Recently I was asked why am I dating if I have HIV. It took me some time to process this comment and the ignorance in which it stemmed. As some background information, I recently joined FB dating and made the decision to be honest in my bio. It specifically states "I am HIV+ and undetectable. If you're not sure what that means swipe right or head to google." I guess this particular individual chose to swipe right with the intention of asking me why I am dating if I am HIV positive. People get so lost in someone's circumstances we forget we all are just people longing to be happy, at peace...
When I was first diagnosed in 2016, I did some research on organizations with a focus on HIV. I came across a group called Youth Across Borders (YAB). YAB is an organization providing youth living with HIV in the USA an opportunity to travel and share space with children also living with HIV at an orphanage in Honduras, and honestly it seemed too good to be true. I wasn't public yet, so I had no one to ask, so I just put it in the back of my brain. Fast forward to 2019, I had honestly forgotten all about this organization. Now public and looking for ways to advocate and share my story, I was...
So I've seriously been thinking... In October, 2015, I started to get REALLY sick. Couldn't hold food down, always nauseous or in the bathroom. Six ER visits and they still couldn't figure it out. GI did several tests, stool samples, the whole nine... still no idea. Two months later they determined my gallbladder needed to be removed. Fast forward to May, 2016, seven months from onset of not feeling well, I was diagnosed as HIV positive. I am PRETTY SURE I was never tested for HIV and I seriously started thinking, were all my issues caused by the introduction of HIV into my system? Was I in...
Since being diagnosed in 2016, regardless of living in silence or loud and proud, I've tried attending anything related to HIV here in Fort Myers
My name is Marissa Gonzalez, originally from New Jersey, now living in sunny Southwest Florida.