I am devastatingly tired. Today it is a weight pressing on my spirit. It is almost as if it's the only emotion I have room for.
Red40something's blog
The pursuit of normal is such an abnormal thing. This idea popped in my head in response to something; now I can't get it out.
I'm determined not to let HIV depression get me down. I'm determined not to let HIV exhaustion get me down. I'm determined not to let HIV stigma make me bitter and closed off. The anxiety of disclosure will not make me feel small and dirty. It must not kill my hope of finding the love I deserve. I have vowed not to let medication adherence wear me thin as fuck (even though it does) - and become medication non-adherent because of it. I am sick to damn death of taking a pill every day. Sadly (and yet hopefully), unless and until there is a cure, I have another 30-40 years of taking that shit. I...
A friend and I were having a conversation about the recent news about the second patient cured of HIV (or is he in long-term remission? I need the medical community to come to a damn consensus, 'cause there is a damn difference, but that's a different story). She and I were talking about the process and she was saying that she was ready to sign up. I told her about how it was not for everybody because it requires a specific set of circumstances and it was dangerous and people died from this procedure. She kinda quasi-jokingly said well then, "Let me be number 10 after they work out the kinks."...
When we were children, we learned all kinds of things. We learned things as vastly different as our different cultures, but one thing that was pretty much universal, was coloring. Coloring was a way to teach us our lessons in a fun way. We were given crayons and taught to color. It kept us quiet in church or at the doctor. It kept us occupied on long car rides. Taught us what color was in the first place! We chose a color and started to scribble. All over the page at first, then eventually, gradually, we learn to color in the lines. We're "encouraged" to color in the lines. It is actually one...
So I was talking to an acquaintance about the dating pool, age (ugh), deal breakers and dating overall.
What do you know about the truth? Seriously, I'm asking. What's true for you? How do you define truth?
In one way or another in various tones from forced to cheer to seriousness, at four out of five of my initial appointments after learning that I had HIV, someone made it a point to tell me that I wasn't going to die.
In my capacity as a nurse at the clinic I work in, I have occasion to teach nursing students nearing graduation from school.
Cali Sunshine greetings! I generally go by Red and am just your slightly above average Cali girl. I love the beach, I skate and I make jewelry. Nursing chose me as a second career and I have been doing it for a little over four years. I'm also HIV positive. I was diagnosed in 2012 just before my 40th birthday. What a way to bring in a milestone right? Nonetheless, here we are almost 7 years later and I'M STILL HERE! Ain't life grand? Ha! Happy to be here with all this positive (pun intended) feminine energy. My hope is to share some of me, so you can see some of you, and we can reflect some...