Where's the middle finger emoji?

Do you know what I am going to do

IF I HAVE TO ATTEND ONE MORE GOT DAMNED VIRTUAL MEETING?

Imma go.

Cus, the world could literally be going up in flames around us and somehow Zoom and GoToWebinar punk asses gone still find a way.

Goggle gone still let you have access to your email.

And if push comes to shove, I guess you could always access McDonald's weak ass WIFI in their parking lot.

You know, this is just what I be hearing.

At this point my mind is filled with so many Zoom links and passcodes that I think I might have forgot my social security number.

Fake "lol's" and snarky "thank you's".

Cus ain't shit funny, for real.

I'm drowning in the anxiety of November 4th – the last time it felt real funeral-ish. I'm not ready.

I'm drowning in the anxiety of whether or not my brown skin is going to get me fucked up if I go into the wrong part of the city. I'm staying real close to home.

I'm drowning in 2019 expectations in a 2020 world. This shit's crazy.

Gotta keep my microphone on mute and video off – cus just know it be going down behind the scenes.

No matter how much you try and convince the people you live with that although it may seem like you just staring at this little screen –

"THIS SHIT IS IMPORTANT!

And could you keep it down a little?

Please?

All day today AND tomorrow.

I know this used to be our house.

But now it's my office too."

They don't hear you.

Tip: Just join the call with a sign that reads, "Welcome to my chaos, since y'all wanna be here so bad."

Yo.

I don't know how y'all are holding up on your side of this mess.

But if you keep going, so will I.

What not to do: Don't give up on me now. I need you.

I might fall apart like this from time to time but just know imma still show up.

Cus there is work to be done.

Now, I might have a blazer on, on top of my nightgown.

Don't worry about it. I'm multitasking in 2020.

It feels kinda normal by now.

Whatever the fuck that means anymore.

+ Ci Ci +

This blog was originally posted on Healing is Voluntary.