Chelc89

I’m 33 years old trying to figure out a better life for me and my kids. I have 2, a 12 year old boy and a 4 year old girl who are the absolute best and deserve the best. I’ve been with their daddy for 18 years it will be 19 years in October. I met him first when I was 14 turning 15 and he was 15 turning 16 riding the bus to high school back in 2004. Fast forward to 2020 Covid happens, its right after we have our daughter in 2019. He gets sick not Covid sick but earache and loss of hearing. Turns out he has a cyst on his brain that he needs to remove. So he has brain surgery August 2020 completely alone. While he recovered he turned to being unfaithful with who all knows who. We move into my sisters house to help while he recovers. He argues and fights with my sister and her wife so we move into a hotel until we found our apartment. He stays unfaithful but I don’t know until I start getting sick. Fainting, “blackouts “ throwing up, no appetite and really fast weight loss like I lost 100 pounds in probably 4 months short time. After multiple doctors visits I got my positive HIV test result literally before walking into work, and I still had to work all day that day. I’m on treatment I take Biktarvy. Why am I still with him now? I don’t honestly even love him anymore I just feel sorry for him because I’m December this past year 2022 he was put onto life support due to pneumonia. He spent the whole month of December in the hospital and the only person that came to visit him was me and our son, his daughter isn’t old enough to go to the hospital to visit anyone. I’m still very angry and don’t know if I’ll ever forgive him for what I say ruining my life by giving this disease. But in my heart I feel bad that he has absolutely no one else but me and our kids. I’m lost and stuck in this world and I swear I’m going to write my life story in books. No one knows about my disease but my parents, my sisters and my 2 closest best friends who doesn’t even live by me so I literally talk to know one about this ever.