I really hope it is okay that I joined this community as I am not yet formerly diagnosed but would like to share my story with others. My name is Ashley. I'm 34 years old and live in Jacksonville, FL. Here is my story:
As I'm sitting here feeling the aches and pains of whatever is in my body, I wanted to share a little more of my story with you as I await my lab results... if only for my own sanity.
About a year ago I lost the love of my life to cancer. His mom and I cared for him as he deteriorated and eventually lost the battle to melanoma. I didnt think things could get much worse but life can be funny and surprising.
I met someone through work who I wasn't interested in but who provided friendship and emotional support during what was a hard time for me. As time went on we developed a strong bond and my feelings changed. I thought I knew him inside and out only to find a bit too late that he really played the field so to speak. And he didn't hide this from me at all, I just thought he was different and asked a bit too late about his dating life etc. He didnt feel like his behavior was risky and assured me he was always responsible and safe. We even talked about testing etc. I shrugged it off eventually and tried to get myself to stop worrying especially considering the intimacy we engaged in was low risk.
But then I started to get sick. Really sick and weirdly sick with infections that dont happen with a normal immune system. And it just wouldn't go away. Eventually it got so bad I had to take FMLA. I went to my doctors about a gazillion times and was hospitalized twice. Everything kept coming back normal for the most part and no one could figure out what was wrong. I was already tested for lupus, a bunch of other rheumatological conditions...all negative. In my gut, and with the timing of things, I knew something was very wrong and was concerned about HIV. I voiced my concerns and was referred to an infectious disease doctor for more specific testing. He tested me for a bunch of things, including an early HIV test as I'm still in the window period. Out of all the tests that is the last one I am waiting for. All of the others have come back normal.
And here I sit with my aches and pains trying to maintain presence but fighting with the regrets of the past and the unknowns of the future as I wait for my lab results.