Motivation

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Heal, they said. It will make you feel better, they lied. Whew, chile! I must say that my healing adventure has been quite a one.

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I have been living with HIV for more than 12 years. Still to this day it baffles me when people try to use this as a reason to insult me. I must admit often times, more than not, I forget about it.

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The lights have come out all over town, in the department stores, on the city lampposts, and in homes and yards across the country. How I used to love those lights, along with everything else that made the holidays festive: annoying dinners with family, shopping in crowded stores, and watching memorized Christmas specials… but it was still special.

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Where do I start with this year of lessons and so much pain? 2018 started ok, although I never expected it to be so so hard, and I never thought that I would ever be this strong…but I am.

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I must be honest, it’s been 26 years since high school and boy it’s been hard. Essays today are nothing like essays back when I went to school. We didn’t learn pathos, logos, ethos. We didn’t need to...

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In just a few days I will turn 50. Years. Old. I have to spell it out like that mostly because it’s hard to fully comprehend. I realize that I am not the first to feel this way. In fact, more and more of us (women living with HIV) are doing it. It’s nuts really. And awesome.

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I realized as I saw my computer screen with my grandkids, I never saw any kid grow up. Not my child, not my family’s children. I guess having the experience of being a mom I felt as if I should have had the courage to nurture, to raise a child. I put too much on my own shoulders so I can never be satisfied with the outcome. I am more of a perfectionist than I knew.

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This is a blog about our immigration nightmare and what we have been suffering in silence since 2008. Where do I start this very hard blog to write? I guess from the beginning. Many people know I was in a very loving relationship with Li for 10 years. We had normal ups and downs, but we always had each other’s backs. We respected each other, and still do, and we will forever be family.

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I think Eleanor Roosevelt said it best when she said this about confidence "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself I lived through the horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."

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After all the trials and storms, always believe that a rainbow will come. Never feel bad for the things you go through, these are the times and things that makes us strong and evolve spiritually. It...

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