I think in the past month I've at least touched base with all five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, but I feel like it's only been a preview of going through those stages again
KatieAdsila's blog
I just attended USCHA 2021 (United States Conference on HIV and AIDS). I really enjoy these conferences, there's so much to learn and experience. This year, due to Covid, USCHA was virtual. I'm starting to get used to these virtual conferences, but I don't want to. I miss seeing everyone and having that full conference experience that so many of us know and love. So I was so thrilled to see that NMAC tried to make the virtual platform as recognizable to the old style conferences of our past. When you first came onto the platform the first page on your screen was of a hotel lobby, it looked...
It's the beginning of fall now, the temperatures are beginning to get chilly and leaves are starting to change their hue. It's a season of change when we bid farewell to summer and all the good times we had and begin to prepare for the long winter to come. But this year it's not just summer that I must bid farewell to. I just broke up with my partner of the past four years. It's ok, we parted on good terms and agreed to remain friends as I always hoped we would be able to do, so I guess that much is a blessing. But still, change is hard, and I'm not one that usually deals with change very well...
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be transgender? Living with HIV? In the rural South? Each of these issues alone can be challenging. Together, they are my reality—and it's crucial for healthcare providers to acknowledge them all when addressing my needs. Let's start with language, as it is, to me, a good indicator of how you really feel about me, how much respect you intend to give me, and thus, how much I'm probably going to trust you right off the bat. First of all, "transgendered" is not a word, and is not a word as it is not possible. The added "ed" on the end implies something...
I've been living with HIV for (going on) 22 years now. I almost can't believe it, seems like a lifetime ago. I was just 27 when I was lying in a hospital bed dying; my children were just babies. When I was told that I had AIDS I didn't think I would see their next birthday and now my grandson is around the same age his mother was when I was diagnosed -- and I'm enjoying watching him grow. Amazing how things can change. But I spent the first 10 to 15 of those years waiting to die. Constantly looking over my shoulder for some opportunistic infection to wipe out my weakened immune system and kill...
Do you struggle with self-confidence? I know I do. It usually doesn't matter how good or even trained I am at something, I'm still always doubtful of my abilities to do the best job, or sometimes even an adequate job, always doubting myself. It's a nasty little quirk of my personality. Fortunately I have another little quirk that balances things out, and that's an absolute determination to do it anyway, lol. I probably get it from my Pawpaw; he used to tell me, "If you need a job, tell them you can do whatever they're looking for even if you can't, then when you get the job, figure it out...
As a woman of transgender experience, I remember a time in my life when hiding was a detrimental part of my entire existence, or as I thought at the time. I thought my world would fall apart if anyone ever knew the truth of the secret I carried, the true soul that hid in the shadows beyond the exposure of daylight. It's a hard and soul-deadening existence to live in shadows, in secrecy, a dejected truth behind a mask, alone in the world, known and most importantly, loved, by no one, because no one can love you, if they don't even know you. It's a reality that slowly kills a soul's hope, joy...
I just attended my first CROI (Conference on Retroviruses and Opportunistic Infections). It was also my first virtual conference and my first conference since the quarantine apocalypse began
I remember fond memories of Christmas in the days of my youth, watching all of the classics like Rudolph, Frosty, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Charlie Brown Christmas Special, etc. on tv every year, no matter how many times you'd already seen them lol. My brother and sister and I had special stockings with stuffed toys sewn onto them that we had had since we were babies, and I loved to decorate the tree with ornaments we had made or gathered through the years, each one holding memories. But my favorite memory was our rotating tree stand, I just thought it was magical and so soothing to...
I remember a time when I didn't have to think much about politics or worry if my rights as an American citizen or even as a human being might be stripped from me, or wonder in serious and sincere contemplation, whether or not American democracy would survive. I remember a time when I didn't have to wear a mask to go anywhere or be afraid to leave my house because other people refuse to. I remember when I could travel to see family and friends and hug them tightly when I saw them without concern for our lives. I remember when we didn't store bodies in refrigerated trucks because there was no...