So after coming home from the empowering PWN-USA and the Positive Living programs, I was feeling so empowered and then life happened. My son is 13 and has had behavioral problems since I adopted him when he was 5. However now he is older and for the last 2 years the police have been called many times. He has a deputy juvenile officer and he does receive weekly counseling. But the day after I came home there were some legal issues. He ended up in juvenile detention and the decision was made to place him in a 30-day behavioral treatment program. I just don't know what else to do with him. We...
posgirl77's blog
I took a seminar on the language we use when discussing HIV. It really made me stop and think about the words I use when describing myself and HIV. From the time I was diagnosed I have always hated to hear people say "I'm HIV." Never say that! You are so much more than HIV. You are an empowered, dynamic, unique, and beautiful person living with HIV! Many of us have been told out of ignorance that we have a death sentence. HIV is not a death sentence. It is a life sentence because we have to take care of ourselves. We talked about saying vertical transmission instead of mother to baby...
Two days before I was to leave I became very anxious because I knew I would be around a lot of women who knew much more about activism than I did. Even though I had quit smoking I bought three packs of cigarettes (bad girl!). I talked to my NA sponsor and she helped me see that with all the things that had to come together for me to go, God meant for me to be there. This calmed me somewhat. The day before I left I became excited. The fears I had because I haven't been involved in any movements and everyone would know so much more than me faded. When I arrived a day early I met a wonderful...
I have been giving a lot of thought to my reluctance to disclose my HIV positive status to anyone. I have been positive since 1996 and I would guess about ten people know my status. Initially I was sick and did not even consider telling anyone who didn't have the need to know because of the stigma. I told my parents but did not tell the rest of my family because I was embarrassed and did not want my parents to have to answer questions my family wouldn't ask me. I told my brothers who were very supportive but we don't talk about it. I was scared that people would treat me different and be like...
My life is immersed in my search for freedom from active addiction through Narcotics Anonymous. Being a drug addict is an additional stigma to being HIV positive. And while I haven't found much support for HIV positive people in St. Louis, I have found support for my drug addiction. It is hard for family members and friends to understand drug addict thinking (or lack thereof) and actions. In active addiction it was all about the drugs, the getting and using and finding ways and means to get more drugs. I ignored the consequences of my behavior and choices. I was in denial, telling myself I...
I am in the process of changing HIV doctors. I am going back to the MD that I initially saw when I moved back to Missouri but at that time I was abusing prescription drugs and he saw right through me and that pissed me off. My present MD is okay but I just don't feel a connection to him. So I will go back to the first MD, tell him he was right and that I am now in recovery. I am a little scared but know it will be okay. I have a lot of issues with my son who I adopted when he was 5 and is now 13. Putting him through my addiction brought back all of his memories and distrust of his biological...
You can call me Dee. I am 50 years old an have a 13 year old adopted son. I was diagnosed in Atlanta on November 1, 1996. I was having severe fatigue and just knew I needed to be tested for HIV. I have a substance abuse problem and while I never used a dirty needle (I am an RN), I was in recovery and having unprotected sex with recovering drug addicts in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. The medical field was just catching up to HIV in FL, and we still thought it was only gay men and Haitians at that time. We were so uninformed... When I got my test results I don't even remember what the man said to me or...