Hello everyone. I'm James Cotromanes and I hope all is well with each of you in a turbulent 2022. At least summer is upon us :)
With the pandemic and the challenges and uncertainty of an ever changing world, I have reflected upon the last 15 years since my HIV diagnosis; a journey with its own challenges and uncertainties as well. Being newly diagnosed I felt guilt, anger, depression, and shame, because this is a disease that is now primarily contracted through sex and drug use; as my mistakes, bad decision, and unfortunate circumstances I experienced and made, only enhanced these feelings; as the little voice in my head spoke the words
"you now have the dirty disease that everyone fears, as you are now an outcast, and dirty person as well. Shame on you "
Living with HIV carries with it the typical stigma that is a continuous personal battle for all of us, and part of this journey. Yet, so what? I have HIV and I am bisexual. And? This chronic condition helped me to rediscover myself; in realizing my dignity, self worth, and identity as a person.
Like any other medical condition, it doesn't define who I am, what I can do, and what I plan to do. Chronic illness unfortunately is part of being human.
Are there moments when it hits me like "wow I have HIV "? Absolutely. I never forget, but I live my life to the fullest. This is why I believe living with HIV helps to keep you mentally and emotionally grounded in what is truly important; as it gives you motivation and insight to live your purpose, use your talents, and acheive your dreams.
Like many of us, I have been truly fortunate to benefit from the breakthroughs in HIV treatment. That being said, like others, I too live with the challenges of living with HIV; in regards to comorbidity, treatment, and general health related issues that may arise, other than comorbidity; due to the every day living with HIV.
Having lived with this condition for fifteen years, and as difficult as it may seem at times, this is my reality in the great life I have. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. I am happy. Life is good and a blessing, even with HIV; something that must never be forgotten.
What comes to mind when you reflect on your journey living with HIV? How has it changed your life? How has it challenged you and formed you as a person?
