Never Fully Told My Story

When do you know what tell? How to tell? Who to tell? But it's all up to me isn't that weird I have a choice? I mean i get to tell who, when, and what part of my story i want to tell. Why is it weird well because i didnt get the choice to pick or choose if i wanted to deal with HIV or not but i mean do any of us get that choice?. My story is my story and i accept it 100% it took some time it did but i got there. Every day is still a one day at a time thing because well you know. My problem is for so long i always looked for love and attention in the wrong place i fell in love easy fake love at that because it couldnt have been real none of it ever lasted and most of it was never right always dealing with less then i deserved. but then i found someone but again i fell quick. I mean he was perfect he swooped at the right time i was grieving from losing my uncle slowly and i got his messeage on a dating site i was on at the time and i mean everything he said was just right he made me feel safe he was there for me and then we met in person and he was still everything i ever though i wanted and we moved quicked i thought he fell as quick as i did but i soon learned it was all a game to him but not soon enough. Later in the relationship i did begin to see the real him some of it i didnt really pay attention too because our attitudes were the same we had the same birthday and i just knew it was going to work lol but my mistake for thinking to fast and settling for less and begin to become absuive both verbally and physically and i did accept it for a while but after a while i had to let it go i was a single mom when we got to gether and i had a lil boy to look after and raise and i would never want my son to think anything he was seeing was okay he was young but kids remember and know right from wrong. so i left and he moved on very quickly and the verbal abusive got worse. but me being young and dumb i did go back for a few more weeks but it didnt get any better and i finally let go and move on with my life. months later i found out i was pregnant by someone new i was dealing with and at my first doctors appoitment they took all these test and everything my results came in and i found out i was HIV Positive my life was over how am i going to live with this can i even live with this what am i going to do.... To be continued.....