Losing Nikki

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Living with HIV for the past 12 years has been full of ups and down. I been through periods of loneliness, periods of anxiety and depression, and periods of feeling left out. I feel that I have been through it all. Eventually I got tired of it because I was losing Nikki, I was losing who I was at the time. I was so upset and didn't know where to go. There was something missing. To an outsider, I should be quiet; I had a dream job, a husband, my family was around and I looked as though I didn't need a thing. There was no one that could actually see me. It wasn't that I was hiding or anything, I just didn't have anything or anyone to lean on to talk about my real issues.

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