When I made the decision to get clean and sober, I found out six months later that I was HIV+. I made another decision as soon as I found out that I was not going to allow HIV to become an excuse to use nor an excuse to not live up to my potential. At that time, I had such a negative outlook on myself. I struggled taking risks to better myself and to live up to my full potential out of fear that I was incapable. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown future, fear of rejection, fear of getting sick, fear of things not working out and fear of embarrassing myself controlled me and told me what to do. I listened to those fears. It was all realistic and made sense to me. What I believed about myself was my greatest hindrance. I can remember going years without trying to accomplish things because of my own negative perception.
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