In about a week or so, it'll be five years that I've been positive and I'm sort of having mixed emotions. The phrase in my head "I can't believe it's been this long already" can go one of two ways. Sometimes it's in a proud way, like, "Look how far I've come, five years already". Other times it's more of, "I can't believe it's been this long and I still have the rest of my life to go."
Sometimes it's difficult to wrap your brain around the notion of having HIV. I don't really feel any different because of it. I've made better life choices because of it. Healthier now than I've probably ever been. I'm fortunate enough to not have gotten sick because of it (aside from medication side effects) but knowing my life falls into the hands of this tiny little pill that I have to take every single day can be daunting. It can be overwhelming and it can feel, five years in, that this journey has only just begun.
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