I know I’m supposed to blog about my views and experiences… but something just happened to me last night and made me think. So instead of pouring my heart out, I’ll ask you guys a question.
What kind of reaction do you expect when you tell someone that you are HIV+? To be precise, what are the first words you want to hear from the reciepient of the news?
I know what I don’t want to hear and what I don’t want to hear is “Oh? I’m sorry.” I hate that expression with a passion.
Which made think about asking you, my fellow Divas, what do you wanna hear? The very first words after disclosure….
Witty Miss. Shelley.
Jae, I agree with you on the hug. Flor, I agree with you as well. so this would be my ideal reaction:
**Hug** How are you coping?
OR
"Get out of here, thats a bad joke"
I would expect the reaction to turn completely about pity and self concious. They would want to know how did you get it? instead of asking how are you doing after receiving the news or if I needed anything that they would be there for me. I would expect indifference and coldness at first because people tend to feel that there is a thread to them if they even show affection or kind words. I would want the longest hug that I could possibly get before any words are even share on my case action always mean more to me than the actual words. Unfortunately, as sad as it sound I do not expect to get what I would like especially on this situation.
I really don't know what to expect. I have found that concern is the first. What is the reason that it is being disclosed? I don't just ramdomly disclose my status. I don't feel it's relative to every one of my friendships. If it is warranted i do, if not I don't. In a perfect world I would get a nice big hug and something to the fact; "I don't care what you have, you are a good person and I love you for that"
I have discovered that I often disclose when I want to feel some "power". I know...it seems a little weird and perhaps a little "freakish" but I know it shocks and makes people uncomfortable mostly and if I am wanting to be in control of any given situation, I disclose. Have been doing so for a long time and when they ask how I was infected my reply is very vague and winds up being a lesson on how anyone might become infected....hee hee.