Have you ever heard a doctor, advocate or friend say "you probably know someone living with HIV and you just don't know it"? People hiding in plain sight. I've said that to people. It's a way to get them to consider HIV in a way they never have before. To humanize the scary HIV acronym and make them think about the nuances of what it must be like to live with it. The 2022 CROI conference did that for me in an unexpected way this year. Humanized science when science isn't exactly popular for having human qualities. Not to mention the challenge of yet another virtual conference platform...
Red40something's blog
If you can read this, or let someone read it to you, and you are sexually active – and you don't know your status or the status of your partner(s), you are at risk for HIV. Yes, YOU TOO! Woman, man, nonbinary, trans-experience – aged 15 or 75. Doesn't matter what kind of sex, even if it's just the tip - there is risk. Go get tested. That's it. That's the whole blog. Kidding. Not knowing, believing in, or recognizing risk is one of the main factors in HIV transmission. It could be, but it's not. I want you to be fully informed so you can operate from knowledge and not from fear or ignorance. By...
I recently "came out" with my HIV status on Facebook even though I've been quietly doing the advocacy thing in the background for a while now. Caring for my patients, using my writing, some small speaking engagements and such. Not hiding it per se- just not shouting it out. I just decided it was just time. I got things to do, stigma to fight and goals to accomplish. Things better done out loud and front and center. Can't even lie. It was emotional. Not really scary after all this time, but there was absolutely some anxiety. I am so grateful it was on my terms and not some foolish, petty human...
I attended the virtual USCHA conference this year put on by NMAC, supported by too many sponsors to name and I want to start by saying this: I love us. "Us" as in the HIV community.
As a woman, I know what it feels like to be invisible. As a Black woman that feeling is sometimes intensified. It gets juxtaposed with occasionally being the person everyone is looking at, but not really seeing.
One of the most powerful things a patient said to me was "Just because I hear you doesn't mean I understand what you're saying". His regimen was changing because he had some resistance and I was doing the nurse education part of the visit right before discharge when we reiterate what the doctor has said and ask if there are questions. After having discharged patients a hundred gazillion times, I could tell by the look on his face that something wasn't clicking. His response also resonated with me because I could remember leaving appointments with doctors early in my diagnosis and scouring the...
This month marks my 9th year of living with HIV. Wow. Wait, this month marks my 9th year of living with HIV? I had to write it again because who would ever have thought I'd be here? The wild part is it took until two days ago for me to be triggered by the thought. That's a small wonder because usually by mid-August I'm getting all up in my feelings and having crazy anxiety. I don't have that this year. I'm triggered but not in the same negative way. Co-incidentally, my 49th birthday is next month. Being diagnosed just before 40 meant I was less focused on that milestone than I may have been. I...
I'm going to go out on a limb and assume something. Don't get mad if I'm overstepping or overstating. I know it doesn't apply to everyone, but it's common enough. It's just a little something that I know to be true for me, and over time have found to be true for others. If you've been taking antiretroviral therapy (ART) for any longer than—let's say a year and a half or more—you've experienced some form of pill fatigue. Brand new to HIV or a long-term survivor, you've felt it, even if it was just a fleeting emotion. I'm using it as an all-encompassing term to include all sorts of emotions and...
I filled out a questionnaire today. It was about wise words that I would offer to someone newly diagnosed with HIV. It's interesting to me to see how my perspective has changed over the years and how it's stayed the same.
I have a least favorite question when it comes to HIV. It annoys me. It didn't always, but over time due to folks' reactions and overheard statements, it gets on my damn nerves. "May I ask you something?" I answer it because I know it has value and I know on some levels it DOES matter. I also temper my response and control my Scorpio side-eye of death while answering. Make no mistake, it's not out of shame. I'm just annoyed. It's like asking a woman her age. If she doesn't volunteer, don't ask. "How did you get it?" It's innocuous enough as questions go. Most of the time, even with all the...