jae001's blog

March 24, 1970 @ 08:05 I was born. In 1991 I really never thought I would be alive to see my 40th Birthday! Here it is! I am healthy and have a bright future! I have a loving and supportive husband and children, even though sometimes they make me want to pull my hair out, and I have great friends! I am truely blessed. I know I have many more to come! Jae

Not only is it important for girls and women living with HIV to feel accepted, it is important to raise awareness to girls and women to the chances of them being infected with HIV. This blog helps us express ourselves and the issues we deal with on a daily basis. I feel it is also important to try to get the message that this isn’t just a gay or drug addict’s disease. This is an equal opportunity disease. I have never done drugs in my life and I am not a gay man. I have, however, had more than one sexual partner. When I was 16 years old the worst thing I thought I could get was pregnant. So I...

Even though HIV is a part of my life, it doesn’t dictate how I spend my time. I am very busy with my kids, work, and school. I am planning for my future. I am very lucky to be able to say I have a future. There are so many new medications that are allowing us to have and plan for our futures. Every day they are working on the next best thing. What I worry about is being able to pay for these medications when my husband retires. Our medications would run us 17,000 USD every three months if we didn’t have insurance. We are fortunate to have insurance although this is my biggest fear. Jae

Every day I worry about people finding out that I am HIV+. People can say, "If they are truly your friends it won’t matter". It matters to me. I don’t want people treating me differently. I don’t want to be left out of sports. I don’t want to be the one living my life on the sidelines. Last time I checked, I am still alive. I am not symptomatic. I really do not need anyone to do anything differently than they already do. When I fall, I want them to point and laugh, then obviously help me up. Every time I am around someone, I don’t want them to see that poor woman with HIV. I want them to see...

In a perfect world it wouldn’t matter if I was HIV+. As you all know, this isn’t a perfect world. I came to realize this better the weeks following my diagnosis. I told my family. They are my family for Goodness sake! They are going to support me, right? Well, most of them did. I was soon ostracized from certain family members. My grandparents were accepting of me. Then again, I am not sure they understood what HIV was. I was soon uninvited to Christmas, Birthdays, Thanksgiving and any other family get together there was. I lost one of my best friends, she was an in-law to one of these family...

My name is Jae, I am 39 years old and have been HIV+ for 18 years. I am a wife, mother to 3 boys, an employee, and full-time student. I live in Southern California, USA. I work in the medical field, the city I work in I come in contact with men that are HIV+. I just don’t have anything in common with them. First of all they are men. Second, most of them are gay. I am neither. I have a family and have been married for 21 years. My husband is in law enforcement and I was a stay at home mother for many years. He is a bit of a private person and has suppressed my participation in activism. So reluctantly I have agreed to forgo being a face to the masses to sitting back and Blogging about my own experiences.