There were many a times when I often use to sigh and say “Why Me of all people”. What did I do to deserve it? Why should I have to undergo suffering at the cost of others? Worse, why do I have to “suffer” when all I did was good/benefit/happiness or cause for others? Fate has played a very cruel twist in my life, not once, not twice but many a times. At 3, I was differently abled (hearing handicapped) due to vehicular accident. Around the same time, my parent’s marriage was on a rocky patch and within a year they were divorced. While in school I was teased and taunted due to my speech. Thou I...
JoDha's blog
When I was first put on the HIV drug combo stamvudine (d4t, Zerit) + lamivudine (3TC, Epivir) + nevirapine (Viramune), I had an initial fear of how it would react on my body. Will one of my organs fail? Will I look bit weighty with fats exposing out where it shouldn't be? Or would I have sunken cheeks, dark circles around my eyes, a very tired face and too lazy to move? How will it impact my day-to-day life? What should I do/eat/take care to maintain myself well so that it don't make my schedule go haywire? I had all those questions in my mind, questions that I was seeking answers to...
Two days after a self attempted suicide I woke up to bright sunlight streaming down my face. Ooooh what beautiful weather. What a beautiful day. Throwing the mink blanket aside I tried to get up from the bed when dizziness suddenly enveloped me and the staggering pain hit my arm. I notice that thou the swelling had subsided, it had a dark bluish blackish reddish colour combination of bruisemark left behind by IV (intravenous) syringe . My eyes welled up in tears. I had wanted to die, but was saved. I was living alone, independently, juggling between my personal and professional life and top of...
I had this great friend of mine and in two years time, we went from being a friend to best friends. There would be absolutely nothing hidden between us. He would share all his life with me, his holiday trips, his dreams, his passions, everything. Even his sexuality that he is bisexual. And I would listen to him, would encourage him, would give him more input to dream about, would make his world. Since we work in different offices and stay in different locality far away from each other but in the same city, we rarely get a chance to meet each other in person. But when we do meet, we go out for...
There is a Facebook friend of mine who is a tattoo artist and hugely popular because of his high-profile clients. Out of the blue, I wanted to tattoo Lord Krishna on my arm and the emblem at the back of my neck. So I decided to text him: "Hi there. Thinking of getting inked. But there is one thing I must confess that am HIV Positive and am saying this because not only its my duty but also for the safety of others and your parlour's reputation. Rest up on you" I waited with bated breath wondering how will he react and what kind of response would I get, or would I really get any response at all...
The early morning cool breeze whiffed past my hair when I opened the balcony door. The first ray of the rising sun provided the much needed natural vitamin for my skin. Basking in the sunlit glory, with a mug of warm milk in my hand, I admired the beauty of nature around me. Colourful reddish orange sky, birds flying together in flocks, milkman and newspaper delivery guy doing their daily rounds, and few people hurriedly saying the quick bye’s and blowing flying kisses before starting their vehicles to the office. I sighed. How I wished I had a family. That I too would be rushing off to my...
9 months ago : We were at Mumbai's hotspot nightclub Rock Bottoms. Me and my close friend. Puffing on my "nth" cigerette that I have lost count of, I stared at her blankly while she screamed in exasperation, "Jo, I don't object to your smoking but are you even aware of HOW MUCH are you smoking? And look at you! You look so drained, tired, worn out, not the pretty Jo that I once know who defied her age. Now you look even more older than your age!" While she was hollering on and on, it had little effect on me. Taking my third peg of Bacardi White Rum, stubbing the cigg I told her, "Come, let's...
My Story: Living with HIV Prologue: "I bloody hell want the divorce. I don't care whether you kill yourself or run away or even go to the court, but I won't leave you until I get the papers signed!!!" And he thrashed me, twisting my arms at the back while my screams grew louder enough for the maid to come running and separate me from him. "I will see to it that you will not get out of the house unless you sign the papers", he threatened and walked away, leaving me stunned, my heart tearing out like thousand daggers. I wanted to scream, but I cannot. I wanted to beg, plead, but I cannot. I...