I'm running through the streets of Soho in stilettos to catch the late train home, feeling like Cinderella as she left the ball just before the clock struck and she returned to rags. I had been to the Freedom Bar on Wardour Street and I certainly felt free! I had sung, danced and drank and was exhilarated. I reach the underground and sit smiling as I travel to Euston. I change my shoes to pumps, with a 'don't care' attitude, but I do check in case there's a prince charming to leave my high-heeled slipper to find. Then I run again and just make my connection. On the train home, relieved I will...
MelPainter2014's blog
March has marched on and I feel I have let it drift over me. It began well and I visited my specialist hospital, following a referral from their HIV midwife who I consulted in November. I’m not pregnant but I was considering trying. That in itself is amazing, as I was sterilised when my daughter was born by c-section in 2001. I had been advised to abort because I had a 15-year life expectancy. The midwife cried when she gave me my diagnosis and I couldn’t even look at the 21-week scan. How times have changed. Just 13 years on and I met a doctor who said he was prepared to help me ‘on this...
Wow that time again? Another blog and I am enjoying the chance to reflect and share. Thank you AGLM. I felt fabulous when I received feedback and comments when my blog reached publication. Such a sense of belonging...tick that box! My other to do list, well... I have listened to the rest of the Brené Brown course, but not fully participated. I got stuck with the comfort verses numbing, and numbed with the winter Olympics and Oreos! But I have 'leant in' to some discomfort, so not all avoidance and dulling the pain...yep Valentine's Day came round again. What is it about the florists...
New year, and already I’m a month behind! Haven’t been to choir practice, didn't make any resolutions and now, January, my daughter's 16 th and my birthday have passed, and I’m 47 yet still trying to grow up and find my place. I started an e-course following Brene Brown, ‘the gifts of imperfection’, recommended by a good friend who suggested it would help me, as you can read, I struggle with negative self talk! What hit me initially was the quote ‘In the absence of love and belonging there is suffering.’ I get the need for love, but I’m still processing this belonging business. It has awoken a...
‘Read all about it...’ plays on the radio ‘How old was she, the girl that sang that?' my daughter asks. ‘I’m not sure 23...24’ my reply was not about by Emieli Sande, but a beautiful, brave young woman that stood alone when JOYFUL NOISE first sang at the NAZ awards ceremony a few weeks before. What a night, we rocked and we roared, how I love all that the choir for PLWHIV stands and sings for. ‘She has lived with HIV all her life,’ I continue carefully, grateful that I have a door open to discuss the virus. I disclosed when she was 13, and just last year to my youngest at just 11. They didn’t...