My Confessions

I must admit in certain areas in my life I finally realized I was being a people pleaser. I never looked at it like that until I saw how it has affected me. I would agree to things I would not necessarily feel comfortable with, or was too tired to attend, but always showed up. I always found a way to push through to show up for people, not realizing that it's okay to say no for a better me. People would recommend I do something because they think I may be good at it, but I really have no interest in it. The recommendation is fine, it's the repeating of the recommendation that bothers me. People who really know me know I can't stand it when someone keeps repeating themselves. I heard you the first three times.

Although I had a planner last year and was somewhat organized, I would double book myself to satisfy the people around me. But I was mentally and physically exhausted. Showing up for others did not allow me to show up for my family. My family always gets tired mommy, girlfriend, and daughter. This year I plan to see if I have the capacity to show up for others where I can engage in the activity. Feeling okay with not going to every event and not being able to pour into everyone's cup at the same time. Getting into the habit of having boundaries. As I get older, I have noticed that I need moments to myself. There are times I feel overstimulated and need my me time.

This year I will go on that girl's trip, birthday trip, couple's trip and family trip. Guess what? I will not be feeling bad about it either. I have not traveled out of the country since being pregnant with my son 6 years ago. Having mom guilt of spending money on anything that is not for him.

I will be prioritizing my needs and wants first - to be great for everyone else.