The Desolation of HIV

Being HIV+ is one thing, doing it as a single hetero female is quite another. I find myself alone, wondering if I will ever find that compatible, understanding human being who is either a saint or also HIV+ and alone. It’s not to say though, that I haven’t searched. There are websites out there dedicated to us. I can say from experience it’s still a lonely endeavor.

I find that these sites are mostly catering to gay men, which is great for them. It is a gay men-dominated disease. In the beginning of my diagnosis I was the only woman at the “social gatherings” and now…it’s still pretty much the same. In fact I have walked out of these “social gatherings” with tears in my eyes and an empty feeling of desolation because I was the only woman in the gathering, which was dominated by gay men. I actually looked around myself surrounded by people who shared this disease and felt completely unwanted and unwelcome in their presence. Like an alien. I have nothing against gay men. I think they are funny and charming. I wonder if the gay male HIV+ population has the same issues in finding a compatible mate as I have.

To read this blog in its entirety, click here.

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Taking Care: Understanding and Addressing Mental Health Among Women Living with HIV was the first in our 2016 WATCH webinar series that offers women living with HIV capacity building and training on HIV disease and treatment advocacy.

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